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A Morning Routine for Dads (That Actually Fits Your Life)

The alarm goes off. You're already behind. Someone's crying, someone needs breakfast, and you haven't even brushed your teeth. By the time everyone's out the door, you're exhausted and the day hasn't even started.

You've read about morning routines. Wake up at 5am. Meditate for 30 minutes. Journal. Exercise. Cold plunge.

That's not your life.

Here's what actually works when you have kids, limited time, and a job to get to.

Why Mornings Matter

Research by Rothbard and Wilk found that how you start your morning affects your mood, productivity, and interactions for the entire day. Start stressed, and that stress compounds. Start grounded, and you have more capacity for what comes next.

A Penn State study on anticipatory stress found that just thinking about upcoming challenges impairs working memory. When you wake up already anxious about the day, your brain is operating at reduced capacity before anything even happens.

The fix isn't an elaborate routine. It's a few intentional minutes before the chaos starts.

The 5-10 Minute Reality

You don't need an hour. You need 5-10 minutes before your kids wake up, or 5-10 minutes of intention even if they're already up.

Here's what the research actually supports:

One Minute of Breathing

A Stanford study by Balban et al. (2023) compared different breathing techniques and found that cyclic sighing - a pattern of two inhales through the nose followed by a long exhale - was the most effective for reducing anxiety and improving mood. Just one minute of this outperformed meditation.

The technique: Inhale through your nose. Before you exhale, take another short inhale to fully fill your lungs. Then exhale slowly through your mouth. Repeat for one minute.

You can do this before you get out of bed, in the shower, or while the coffee brews.

Sunlight Early

The UK Biobank study analyzed data from over 500,000 people and found that morning sunlight exposure was associated with better mood and reduced risk of depression, independent of total sunlight exposure throughout the day.

The morning light specifically helps regulate your circadian rhythm and cortisol levels. You don't need to sit in the sun - just step outside for a minute, look toward the sky (not at the sun), or have your coffee by a window.

Set an Intention

Not a goal. Not a to-do list. An intention - one word or phrase that captures how you want to show up today.

"Patient." "Present." "Steady." "Curious."

Research on implementation intentions shows that this simple practice increases follow-through on desired behaviors. It's not magic - it just primes your brain to notice opportunities to act on that intention.

Making It Work with Kids

The ideal is getting up before your kids. Even 10 minutes of quiet sets a different tone than waking up to demands.

But if that's not possible:

Do it with them watching. Kids learn regulation by watching you regulate. Take your breathing breaths while they eat breakfast. Step outside with them for the sunlight. Let them see you taking care of yourself.

Involve them. "Let's all take three big breaths before we start our day." It teaches them skills and gives you your own practice.

Do it in the shower. Those 5 minutes are probably the only time you're alone. Use them. Breathing exercises work fine under running water.

Use the commute. If you drive to work, the commute can be your transition time. No podcast, no music - just breathing and intention-setting.

What to Skip

Most morning routine advice is written by people without young kids. Here's what you don't need:

The phone scroll. Checking email or social media first thing spikes cortisol and puts you in reactive mode. If you can, wait 30 minutes after waking.

Hour-long workouts. Great if you can do it, but don't sacrifice sleep for exercise. A 5-minute stretch or walk counts.

Elaborate journaling. If writing pages works for you, great. But a single intention written on a sticky note does the same job of priming your brain.

Perfection. You'll miss days. You'll get interrupted. A half-done routine is better than no routine. Three breaths is better than zero breaths.

The Minimum Viable Morning

If you do nothing else:

Before getting out of bed, take 5 deep breaths.
Get some daylight within the first hour of waking.
Choose one word for how you want to show up today.

That's it. Under two minutes. Research-backed. Actually sustainable.

The point isn't to optimize your morning. It's to start the day slightly more grounded than you would have otherwise. That margin compounds throughout the day.

Hard to remember these steps when you're still half-asleep. Steady Dad's morning prep walks you through a quick grounding practice - just follow along, no thinking required.